Live Free

My October

The weather and this month have been just about perfect.  Nothing makes this time of year so enjoyable as crisp, cool days.  And for the first time since we moved back South several years ago, October feels as it should. Not another month of extended summer temperatures. Hooray! 

I already have so many great memories collected from this past month. And photos to share of course.  

Pumpkins everywhere!  It's harvest time.

I'll want to remember:

This girl's cute backside as she glides across her home. Discovering corner after corner and the front door too.  

And sweet, lazy mornings. Enjoying the morning sun light as we have a little warm cereal together. 

Perfect days for hiking in the woods.

Be still my heart, her kisses are the best!

Going home for the first time in almost three months.  The last time Granny visited with her, she wasn't even sitting up yet. And now...she gets anywhere she wants to with little help.  

Watching these two fall in love with their newest great grandchild. 

Being at my best friend's wedding. I'm so proud of him. 

And the good times with family.

A sweet little Halloween party thrown for the little ones at The Natural Child Learning Community. 

And a night out for the grown-ups too!

How will you remember October? 

 

Boo

We carved our pumpkin today.  Beatrix participated fully.  What fun it is to see her explore the pumpkin as it was transformed into a jack o' lantern.  

First she felt the rigid and bumpy skin. 

And then the rough stem. 

Daddy carved. 

The pieces of pumpkin became intriguing objects in which to explore: to touch and to taste. 

I have no costume photos of Bea to post. I had a great idea for a costume.  But my long list of to do's for the week dictated that the costume stay behind. But honestly, I was okay with not being able to make her one.  I consoled my failed attempts by reminding myself that baby costumes are all about photo ops.  She goes to sleep before trick or treating starts. She has no understanding of the holiday. She has no older siblings to tag along with. She can't even eat the candy.  And -- I got my Halloween photo op even without a costume. 

Half Way Through October

How is it that tomorrow we will already be half way through my favorite month of the entire year?  Even though there are 31 days in October - it flies by like no other month.  Each year, I think to myself how much I love October and then it's gone before I even realize it was here. The nature of things, I suppose.  

So far, we've had unseasonably cool and wet weather around these parts. (Never mind today which was 90 degrees with about as much humidity.) But overall, we've had a fair amount of chances to wear sweaters, leggings, and cozy socks. I'm such a girl when I say this -- but I've LOVED dressing Beatrix up in cute little layered outfits. Bundled up babies are the cutest! Bea's grand dad thought so too!    

Our drought over the last couple of years has been so severe that even with nine inches of rain in this month already, the lake levels have risen only one foot. The ground is gulping up nearly every bit of the rain that falls. 

So far this month, I've celebrated my journey around the sun one more time. Cupcakes, breakfast at the Driskoll Hotel, and a new lens.  I'm such a content girl.  

Beatrix is full of new developments since I visited last. There are two bottom teeth making themselves at home in her mouth. She is doing the army crawl all over the house and is babbling constantly. She's gaining a healthy respect for table food and might even have a fondness for sweet potatoes. Picky eater on my hands? Perhaps.

At around five months, we packed up her hammock (sniff, sniff) and transitioned her to a floor bed. Then soon after, we moved her floor bed into our second bedroom due to some late night partying that Byron and I were too lame to enjoy. So now, she really is such a big girl. I think she really loves her new room. Generally, she plays with her few toys and books and makes funny faces at herself in the mirror until she is ready to go to sleep. And now that she's moving around, we find her in so many corners pursuing it all - especially Sandy and the elusive Blackie. Mostly, they humor her, cut her a break since she is still noticeably slower moving, and let her grab away without complaining. 

I'm glad she has the ability to explore her environment independently and at her own will. I find it fascinating to watch her move. It's so much fun to see her intent develop - to observe exactly what strikes her curiosity.

Honestly though, I've been thinking about why I've been so quiet on the blog. Now that I'm working, I have to admit to having some feelings of regret and guilt. It has been an eye opening experience -- working while parenting.  And although the little dream program is going great, there are some days when I fear that I will regret not spending more one on one time with Beatrix. There are few slow mornings or quiet walks. Many days feel rushed. Rushed to wake up, to get out the door, to prepare the environment, to give lessons, to clean up, to get home so that Bea can squeeze in a good afternoon nap, to tidy up the house, to make phone calls to parents, to make phone calls for our own personal business type stuff, to eat, bathe, and get to bed. I struggle very hard to slow this life down. To enjoy and to savor. And to appreciate all the goodness that is bestowed upon us. 

Because in the end, I'm so grateful that at least Beatrix is with me all day long no matter how busy I am. At least, unlike many parents out there -- including my own mother who was single raising six children - alone, I get to come home by the early afternoon. I know my position is one of privilege to many folks out there. And I feel weak for ever thinking otherwise and for ever feeling regretful.

Life is so unpredictable and so much fun. Last year at this time, Byron and I were just beginning to pursue adoption. It was still just the two of us - and Blackie and Sandy. I was on hiatus from teaching, and we had no idea what was in store for us or how our lives would be blessed by the time my next birthday arrived. I remember feeling lost at times - just wondering when and how it would all unfold. I remember feeling so tired on not being able to plan or move forward. And then we did.  These days, life is very full and purposeful. As it should be.

Weekend Stroll

I just realized I completely missed my blogoversary.  It seems as though I've been writing on this place for one whole year! I think this is my 57th post. Not exactly a robust flow of material coming from my end, but hey, I'm still logging in at least once a week.  

Onwards to weekend happenings -  Oh, how we are enjoying the reasonable temperatures in our parts lately. These days, while being outside, I am reminded of what the rest of my life experienced - before Austin and it's incessant heat and drought. I can't tell you how dreamy it feels to be comfortable outdoors again.  

This weekend, the family took a little walk through a little hidden gem right in the middle of the city. Lush gardens, some deciduous vegetation, and roaming peacocks.  Take a look.  

So Much

So much new activity has happend over the last couple of weeks.  A brand new school...new children...new parents...new routine...It all feels good and right though.  I'm truly having a ball working with little ones again. I can't wait to get to know them and watch them grow and achieve new skills. They are already providing me with so much new joy and added smiles.  

It seems as fast as I can record it, Beatrix is conquering new milestones. Unfortunately, I haven't stayed abreast with updating to the blog as much as I like. The trusty old paper journal is getting a workout these days though. And so is Facebook. I have to admit that status updates have become a great, quick way for me to journal Beatrix's achievements. I plan to copy them into a hard version somehow. 

The weather has taken a turn for the better. Triple digits have evaded us for the past two weeks. We even had some wonderful downpours. Many more downpours are needed. I hope the rain we have received is a omen of more to come. 

Finalization for Beatrix is coming up soon. Placement has happened nearly six months ago. I can hardly remember what life was like without her. 

Overall, I'm not feeling too wordy tonight. But I wanted to stop by and say hi anyhow. I can't help but leave you with some photos...of Beatrix...of course. :) 

"The human hand allows the mind to reveal itself."   Maria Montessori

Upright...the trajectory of homo sapiens.

Sitting pretty.

More words later.

 

So Fast

I think, generally speaking, I am a pretty calm, reasonable person. I sleep well and sound. I usually feel rested and relatively balanced. Today, though, I woke up from a 10 minute power nap with a bit of a mini anxiety attack. Or just a blaring realization. That Beatrix, is, in weeks at least, turning six months this week! In calendar months, she's just about 5 1/2 months. Half way to one year!

And I'm sure that my thoughts and feelings are familiar to many mothers. Like them, I am dumbfounded when I think of where all the time went. And then I ask myself: Have I cuddled her enough? Have I snuggled in bed with her enough? Have I sang to her enough? Have I gazed into her eyes enough? Have I carried her around with me wherever I go enough? Have I enjoyed this short, sweet time enough? Have I savored enough? Recorded enough? Photographed enough? Oh gosh, I hope so. Did I witness it all? Impossible.

I know. She's only six months. The poor child still has a whole life ahead of her. There's still time, you know. To be there for her. To be a good momma. And I think I've already done the best that I can. However, I think back to the day we met her. I remember everything. The phone call. Calling Byron. Packing up the car. Driving and driving. The quilt shop that I used the restroom in. The landscape. Arriving at the hospital. Meeting our social worker in the lobby. Taking the elevator to the third floor. Zig zagging through the maternity ward where we had a chance to meet Beatrix's birthmother. Walking down to the nursery. Laying eyes on our daughter. 

It all happened so fast. I remember the years we waited to become parents. It took a long time to find our child. I can't say I'm ready to let go of this baby that I yearned for for so long.  Though, it's only natural progression. In a way, I'm thankful for the path to parenthood Byron and I have journeyed. We'd both love to have more children. But we know, that no matter how great our desire - our means are limited. If we are blessed to have another opportunity to adopt another child, we could be none the happier. There's no guarantee. And all the more reason to love this little girl up and savor each moment.  

The Natural Child Learning Community

So, here it is.  Our little space. For our children. We worked really hard this summer and suffered bouts of guilt. Wondered if this was the right thing to do for little Bea. But in the end, I can't think of a lovelier surrounding for her to grow up in. Yes, she will be among others. But most importantly, she will be with me and we will be here and I am so happy about that. 

The children arrive on the 31st.  Until then, L and her two little ones and Beatrix and I like to hang out here because it's so darn sweet.  

We could not resist Ida Pearle's alphabet cards. They are absolutely gorgeous. Ida is really sweet too.  

For the child, the metal inset work is a special way to create beautiful, and even intricate design work. The guide knows that lots of good metal inset work also helps to develop the hand, which promotes muscular development needed for handwriting. 

The heart of any Montessori environment is the practical life area. This is where the activities needed for daily household chores and art activities are kept. Here, children can choose from a variety of tasks: dishwashing, painting, clay work, polishing objects such as wood, silver, and brass, plant care, flower arranging, and so much more. It's a lively area with a busy hum about it. 

Our Waldorf inspired play area. Because we know that creative/imaginative play is important as well. Children grow through purposeful activity.  It's our hope to provide an environment filled to the brim with purposeful actiivity. 

In the imaginative/creative play area, we decorated the wall with the beautiful and calming water color paintings by Ruth Elsaesser. We purchased them from Nova Natural. 

The mobile is placed in our infant area. Primarily, it provides a beautiful dance of color and shape for the babies while lying down. But also adds another level of beauty and calmness for all to appreciate. The framed black and white cards from Wee Gallery  will be rotated so that the babies have a variety of simple, yet beautiful images to admire. At home, Beatrix has had these cards attached to a wire mobile. She's spent hours laying underneath the black and white images excitedly watching as the animals drifted in and out of her view.  

The geometric solids introduce the scientific language of basic geometric shapes such as sphere, cube, ovoid, ellipsoid, cone, etc. Through games, children learn to feel the shape (without looking) and associate the name to it. They are challenged to find these shapes within the room, then within nature. Soon, they discover that these basic shapes are the foundation of nature's design. And indeed, our world is complex, yet simple!  

Where children come to reflect after working or playing. Our quiet corner is a place to snuggle up with a good book or to listen to classical, jazz, folk, (and perhaps some Beatles or Johnny Cash thrown in there - the possibilities are endless!) It can also be a place where the child can choose to do nothing. Just, sit and watch, and take it all in!  

I hope to post more about our space as time moves forward. We have so many ideas on how to insure that this place truly becomes a home away from home for little children. A place where children are allowed to slow down, to be present, to blossom into the people they were meant to be, where they can discover beauty within themselves, others,  and in the world around them. Thank you for stopping by!  

Rolling and grabbing

Beatrix is growing very much these days. She is no longer a helpless newborn infant. Her skill set grows larger each day, it seems. This girl has an agenda in mind. She is eager to taste and touch every piece of this world that she can get her hands on. Almost two weeks ago, she rolled over for the very first time from back to tummy. She waited several days to do it again. But now, I profess her to be a fluent roller. She's sitting up in tripod pose and longing to grab everything in sight. Just a little more balancing and she'll master this all important milestone. The other day, she was sitting in her bumbo, knawing on her bird mobile. Um...okay, time to hang a grasping toy, I suppose.

She loves books.  This was us a few nights ago at a time when she use to be reliably asleep.

The little infant who was such a champion night sleeper has been waking up every three hours. She nibbles at her milk as she is so preoccupied with everything around her. I really believe that she is so enthusiastic about the world that she just can't sleep for those long stretches like she use to. She is even beginning to cling to me as I carry her around the house. It's so adorable. 

Life around these parts is good. We could use more rain, less heat. But overall, we are basking in joy that this little girl shines on us each day. Even in the exhausted wee hours of the morning, as I roll over to reach for her or as I scoop her up from the hammock - she flashes that knock out smile and I'm there. Awake and sucked in. 

old friends, their babies, and 500 miles

I'm lucky to live 20 minutes away from my childhood best friend.  Together, we've experienced many sweet, tragic, goofy, honest, and funny moments through our 20+ years of friendship.  She's the one that I use to call on the phone and spend hours talking with and sometimes, as odd as it sounds now, not talking.  We'd just hang out together over the phone.  Crazy. I can't imagine having that much time on my hands now... Over the years, we've drifted in and out of each other's lives, but we never really left each other's hearts. I can't say how comforting it is to have people like that in my life. As if she were a family member, she knows my story, my family, my roots. How fun it was to take a road trip with her and her little girl, Kate - even though her lack promptness leaves me astounded! After all these years, I discover all over again, that she still runs reliably, severely late. We made our way back to our small hometown in Louisiana in a record long driving time - 12 hours! And a trip back to our mother land - so to speak - couldn't be complete without some embarrassing 80's music, Shipley do-nuts, and a stop at Wal-Mart. 

"Daddy, I know what this looks like - but, I promise, I stayed buckled the whole trip," defends Baby Bea.

Kristie was a good road trip partner. She was just as excited as I was at the sight of Shipley's donut shop.

With a good camera, you too can capture sweet and intimate looking shots such as this one in do-nut shops located along the the feeder road of I-10 in Houston. 

A journey worth taking. This granny (and big cuz) were both so thrilled to hang out with their little Bea.  

Living Is Easy

In between scheduling inspections, finalizing our application to the child care licensing agency, and just the regular upkeep of home, I have to say, we've been getting our fair share of naps and good times lately. Our summer has felt delightfully low key. Slower than the norm. With a bit more time together. Enjoying each other's company. Just as the lazy days of summer should be. 

Nap time. A good 2 hour solid nap, at that!  

Oh, my. Decadent, chocolate mousse cake with hazelnut shavings and fresh cream.  Yum, yum, yum. This photo came very close to not existing. 

Refuge from the heat:  thrifting

My all time favorite beverage: water

Goofing off.

More naps.

I hope your summertime living is easy.  

Now back to fantasizing about vacationing somewhere high in the mountaintops.