"We may not have wings or leaves, but we humans do have words. Language is our gift and responsibility. I've come to think of writing as an act of reciprocity with the living land. Words to remember old stories, words to tell new ones, stories that bring science and spirit back together to nurture our becoming people made of corn."
I've slowly and deliciously made my way through a book of essays by Robin Wall Kimmerer, entitled Braiding Sweetgrass. I'm struggling with words to convey how meaningful her writing felt to me. It is so beautiful and poignant and it put words to a language that my soul speaks but which I have such difficulty expressing. My book is earmarked in numerous places of passages that struck me as true and beautiful. I especially appreciated the one above as I've been pondering how to continue to write. Sometimes I feel so scared to write - of not having anything to say - of feeling so rusty and inarticulate that these written words do nothing to communicate all that is inside. Alas, fear is paralyzing, and I want to be done with it. So, as many times as I've said it before, I'll say it once more - that my intention is to show up here.
These last few months of uprooting and rerooting ourselves have been all sorts of exciting, confusing, blissful, and heart-wrenching. However, little by little, day by day, our days here make sense. I feel so much more grounded now that we are settled into our home. Last week as I was trimming an invasive vine out of our meadow, I felt so much contentment tending the land, and doing my small part to show my gratitude for all the beauty and life Mother Earth gives. This morning, as I raked ruts out of our driveway (a huge storm washed through us yesterday), I felt purpose caring for our homestead created by other's hands and hearts. I feel incredibly honored to have inherited this place and I want to be a good steward to it. When I'm on the porch, mixing up herbal concoctions, or reading in the hammock, I feel peace. I think to myself, this makes sense. This is the life I've longed for. This is the way I've dreamed of spending my days. I am home.