This mama is a little sad these days. Off and on, Bea has been protesting against taking her nap. Prior to the nap, she talks about the bed and how she wants to be in bed, and that she is tired, but then once we do our nap time routine, she seems to get a second wind and doesn't let herself settle down to fall asleep.
And of course, she needs the nap.
Her afternoons are hardly functional without them.
There's the unpleasant (demanding) tone in her voice. The commands. The outburst of crying and yelling. The plain irritability of a tired, tired two year old.
A singular scenario for sure, eh? I know, I know...Please find it in your heart to humor me.
I'm trying to be cool. Now more than ever, I find myself needing to hold tight to any zen I can uncover within me. But mostly, I find myself thinking this: this is why babyhood is beautiful! Then I remember wise words someone once shared with me a few days before we brought Bea home. My sweet friend and I were giddily gathering all of the essentials I would need for Bea's arrival. Byron and I had five days to prepare ourselves to be parents - well, really, we had years, but I digress, that's another post. Lissadell and I were at our local attachment parenting baby supply store buying a Moby wrap for sweet Bea who was not yet born. And of course, the store associate was reiterating the importance of bonding and skin to skin contact with a new babe. She said something to the effect that the love and bond you develop for your child in the earliest months is the love and bond that helps you to survive the harder years (the stage we are currently in and all those future, glorious challenges to come that accompany growing up) with grace.
It's funny what we remember, huh? Sometimes I can't remember what I ate for breakfast just four hours earlier, but I can remember the details of a short and simple conversation from a stranger years ago.
And I know it's just typical. It's a phase. She'll be alright. I'll be alright. She's a good girl. But I can't help but worry and feel sad when I witness her experiment with the distasteful attitude that she's adopted of late. I miss my sweet, happy girl. More than anything, I want her to grow up to be a nice person to everyone. It's that simple. To treat others how she would want to be treated.
So - that's it, my great big ole drama for the day. In the grand scheme of things, I know it's small, but right now, at this very moment, it feels huge.
And since I'm feeling so lonesome of my sweet little one, I'll just allow myself to wallow in my funk a little bit longer by pulling these out of the archives. Aw...two years ago, nearly to the day. Her whole life ahead of her. Still perfect and nothing but sweetness.
Oh nooooooo! Oh, I feel your pain, and I, too, have to cringe through a lot of my afternoons. I'm at the point where I am attempting to schedule our days so that the nap *should* happen since I know Eliza needs it. Then there are days like today, when she fell asleep in the stroller for the last 15 minutes of our walk (maybe 20), slept on the drive back home (15 minutes, maybe 20), and *that* was the nap for the day. We just kept really busy in the afternoon and by not being home (running errands, going places for short bits at a time), she made it. Fast dinner and quickly off to bed. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I just keep reminding myself that Erika turned super sweet around 2 or 2.5, and by 3, she was delightful. And then I forgot about the first couple difficult years ... You will, too. :)
Let's do a playdate one of these days! The girls would LOVE to see you and Bea.
Posted by: gina | June 08, 2011 at 09:52 PM
Oh my, we are, of course in this exact same stage as well. I know how it feels. I've been scraping together all the patience and zen I can find. And reminding myself that this defiance is just part of being two and not some big indication of what kind of person she will grow into. Toddlerhood... a delight and also a challenge, to be sure. All the best to you and the tired little Bea!
Posted by: Catherine | June 08, 2011 at 11:16 PM
Funny...sometimes I run through my head all of the older children I know and picture them the same age as Bea is now - Just to keep a perspective, because they are so lovely now. I thought about Erika and tried to picture her as a two year old. Ha! Quite funny. I bet, even calm and composed Erika had her moments as a toddler too! :)
We'd love to play. I'll email you. My schedule is a bit wild for the upcoming two weeks.
Posted by: Nichole | June 08, 2011 at 11:34 PM
Really? Juni is going through this too??? :) She looks like such a beautiful napper! Your photos of your sleeping babes bring such a smile to my face each day!
Yes, it's a bit silly the things that I let myself get worked up about sometimes. My venting is done and tomorrow is another day.
Posted by: Nichole | June 08, 2011 at 11:42 PM
I found the ages between 2 and 3 really hard sleep wise (Little L has just turned 3) She started resisting her after lunch nap and then she would be cranky all afternoon and be too tired to eat her tea etc etc and if she would go down for her day time nap then there would be sleep issues at night (Not being able to drop off too sleep, waking in the night) My older girl on the other hand, had blissfull two hour lunch time naps up until age four!
Posted by: mamaUK | June 09, 2011 at 04:50 AM
I truly believe that these stages are very important for the healthy development. Also I would agree that not only 2-3 years old have them, but we all have our days. And pretty much the same as in my adult relationship with my husband, when after our a bit weaker episodes, I feel as if we become even closer, when my older son (3.9 years) has his moments, I always try to remind myself that one of the most important things I can teach him is this very thing - we all have our moments, but they ALWAYS help us to grow, by all meaning. And yes, it is not easy, and it doesn't become easier...:) But I wouldn't change these rough moments with the perfect ones, simply for the reason that perfectness is not real. I hope you understand what I mean.
As to the nap, I would highly advise you to help B not to give up. I believe that as long as naps are considered it is not less our job to help our children continue napping than theirs. I am so grateful that our son still have his naps, even if we had some difficult times. One tip I have to mention, something that helped us, is that even when he wasn't tired, I insisted that he had rest in his room doing something quiet like reading books (he was perhaps 26-27 months old then), or lye down on the bed. I explained to him that it was the time for rest for all of us, this why I coudlnt' stay with him - because I needed to have my rest too. He resisted only a bit, but then was cooperative and asked if he could join me, if I rested enough. And then he came back to napping again. Perhaps she needs you to stay with her until she falls asleep. This is how we do it...
Good luck!
You are in my thoughts...
Posted by: Miri | June 09, 2011 at 06:25 AM
my lil guy is almost 3 and some days he naps, others not. every single day he naps i count my blessings because the others all quit around 18 months. even if he chooses not to nap, i try to get him to spend some quiet time in his bed while the older kids are having quiet time with a book all so mama can have a little quiet time ;-) good luck to you!
Posted by: amanda {the habit of being} | June 09, 2011 at 09:22 AM
I have to say, it is so refreshing to hear this! We are going through the same phase, and at times I feel like such a loser-mom! While Pinecone still naps well, she has become purposefully defiant and naughty -- not all the time, but frequently. Like she will be throwing her blocks in the house while saying "No throw blocks house", or coloring on the furniture while saying "No color". I am learning how to give natural consequences, and she now just laughs at time-outs. Sigh. I hear it's good and all, but boy is it a challenge. I am very un-zen at times. Yes, at times I sound like my mother. Gasp!
Posted by: Evergreen | June 09, 2011 at 01:33 PM
Gretchen, I'm laughing but not at you, just with you. Sometimes that is all we can do is laugh at these situations right? :) You are NOT a loser mom! I can't believe little PC throws such shenanigans! I still picture her as a sweet, nursing baby! :) Bea has the same naughty ways, don't you worry! We're all in this together! Even though sometimes we feel like it can't possibly be this craptastic everywhere. It is. Much love.
Posted by: Nichole | June 09, 2011 at 04:35 PM
18 months!! You poor soul. And you still LOVE your children so dearly. You are a saint.
Posted by: Nichole | June 09, 2011 at 04:36 PM
Thank you Miri! She's napping beautifully today...After stories, cuddles, and songs, I left her room. About 10 minutes later, I checked in on her as I could hear her moving around. She'd undressed completely and put on her jammies. She was so proud of herself. I guess today, she needed to fully put herself into the role of the sleeping child, so the jammies came out! Hysterical. Amidst all the craziness and frustrations, I love the sweet moments like that one. Steals my heart every time.
Posted by: nichole | June 09, 2011 at 04:42 PM
I hope Bea sides with your older daughter on this one! :)
Posted by: nichole | June 09, 2011 at 04:45 PM
it really truly can be (and is) 'craptastic' everywhere at one time or another. so, SO easy to forget sometimes, isn't it?
Posted by: sweetpotatoclaire | June 11, 2011 at 08:59 PM
before you know it you'll be in the beautiful and fantastic (in my opinion) ages of 3 &4 and then it seems to mostly smooth sailing until the teen years.... which is an even bigger reason why they start out so sweet, cute & funny! lol
Posted by: Stephinie | June 19, 2011 at 03:38 PM