5 Months

 

 

Yesterday as Bea and I walked to the end of our road and back, we counted the months since we left Georgetown.

The skies were overcast and the most of the leaves have fallen off the trees. Those that are still on retain the deep red, almost maroon shade of past peak. The goldenrod and aster have all gone to seed.  

Seasons have come and gone since we moved here. All of summer and now most of fall.  Five calendar pages turned and folded over.

She and I talked about whether or not our heart feelings have changed since those early days. They have.  We talked about all of the new places, people, and experiences we have been so fortunate to meet and learn about. We talked about our fears of leaving home and our fears of not having a sense of belonging in the new place. Those fears were big and scary. 

I have to be honest, my mama heart doubted the move so many, many times. I wanted to protect Bea. I wanted her heart to never break. I didn't want her to have to say goodbye to her dear friends,  her teachers,  or her riding pony.  I wanted her to always feel that she belonged. I cherished the community and the relationships we developed over the years. I adore how my friends love her through and through as one of their one.  It takes a village and we all need unconditional love and acceptance.  

Still, we had to do it. We had to trust our inner calling. I know that sounds flakey, but that is just what it was. We couldn't let fear of the unknown keep us from spreading our wings. I had to trust that we could belong wherever our spirits called us to be.  I had to trust that this world is full of beautiful and kind people and that we would be okay, love stretches and grows.  I had to trust that because Bea knew love from so many people, she would have a resilient heart and would learn something about herself through this whole experience. 

I hope I'm not jinxing the story by writing it down, but I do think we are feeling our way around here and seeing it more and more as home. I see Bea growing up so kind and articulate. She is headstrong and determined. She is passionate about  justice and fairness and is earnest in her intentions.  She enjoys our company and the company of others. She delights in watching the sunrise or fog and mist roll over the ridge in the morning.  And,  I know she will be okay growing up here in the mountains. 

Comments

[jenny]

i just read through all of your posts and got caught up on your beautiful story. how inspiring. following your dreams takes a lot of courage. everyone has doubts. i am so glad that you listened to your inner calling and had the strength to follow it. i look forward to witnessing a holiday season on your lovely homestead.

[Nichole]

Hi Jenny,

It's really good to see your comment here! I've just started to quietly post again. I don't think there are many people who read blogs anymore but I find the format so much more conducive to truly expressing myself than IG (which is what I have readily relied upon more and more over the years). I like the slowness of churning a post out even if it takes days of tweaking it before hitting publish. Thank you for cheering us on. It has been a wonderful journey and we just feel so blessed with where we have landed. Much love!!

[Megan]

So funny to read your comment above because I just yesterday deleted Instagram from my phone. I just can’t do it anymore. I knew there were some favorite accounts I would miss though and so I started checking around to see who is still blogging...and here you are and posting about topics so close to my heart right now! We moved to a small town 2 years ago, went so far as to build a house...and I am just miserable with the lack of space. I can practically stand between my house and my neighbors and touch both. I am such a homebody and home has become a stressful place for me to be because of the lack of space and privacy. I am dreaming of moving constantly. One of my concerns, and I would love to hear your experiences and opinions, is moving somewhere more isolated while homeschooling...particularly as an introvert who doesn’t love to drive. Here we have a community and everything is close by for the the most part...and yet despite that I feel like my spirit cannot bear the thought of staying here long term. Any thoughts on homeschooling and community in a more “isolated” area? (My boys are 3.5 and 8)

[Nichole]

Hi Megan, Sorry to take so long to get back to you. I had similar feelings before we moved. I longed for more space and seasons. I feel like Bea gets a lot of interaction with others but it's less structured. So instead of participating in things that I enroll her in, people in our community invite her and us to whatever things they are doing. Right now, she is involved wth a play that her violin teacher wrote and is directing. In December, she was invited to participate in another community event organized by the local Quaker community. We have neighbors here to play with too -which is funny, because when we were in town, she actually didn't have anyone to play with. So all in all, I think she is doing okay. I strongly believe that life works out as it is suppose to when we are able to listen to that little voice deep inside....Best wishes to you. :)