Dear Friends,
Happy Holidays to you and yours. I find myself so entirely grateful for the many, many blessings that this year has bestowed upon my family and myself.
Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. It's been a pleasure to document our days here for the past three plus years. It feels good to share and grow with you all.
Wishing each and every one of you much peace, grace, love, and joy throughout this season and into the new year.
Love,
Nichole
This weekend was all about:
Yep, apple crisp.
Bea discover The Sound of Music. I know she's young y'all for the whole video thing, but she adored the singing and dancing. How could she not? "Dance with me, Daddy!" she sang to Byron.
I worked on a very long application that will hopefully lead us to a child in need of a home and family. The thought of growing our family fills me with joy, but quite honestly, the application to do so does not.
Camping weather is here. We're thinking about our first overnight adventure in the forest since Bea's arrival. Bea is made for the woods and a tent. This girl is bursting with love of the outdoors and usefulness. I must say, she's just incredible - in case I haven't already made that clear!
We're also pondering potential Halloween costumes, stories, and songs, tallying up family members who will be celebrating Thanksgiving with us, and savoring this glorious season.
Oh, the coop is completely re-built and we are nearly ready to get our girls back. As soon as we can get a load of mulch in there, we will bring them home!
Lately when Bea wakes in the morning and we get to talking about her night of sleep, she tells me she dreams of pumpkins. Whether that's accurate or not, it certainly tells me that this season is leaving an impression on her.
Happy Autumn friends!
This weekend, Beatrix and I enjoyed a wonderful honor of receiving a sweet little package from Lilli, one of my favorite bloggers, who lives with her children and husband in Norway. Her world is cold and damp. My world is hot and dry. I like to think that we understand each other's secret longings...
Lilli's words and photos are incredibly mesmerizing to me. She writes with such openness and thought. Her photos never cease to make me pause for just a moment, oftentimes longer. They are breath taking.
The package we received was as lovely as her blog. So thoughtful. So elegant in its simplicity. A true lesson to stop and slow down and to pay attention to the details of the moments. To savor the beauty of our everyday lives.
We appreciate these gifts from our friends who live across the sea so very much. Thank you Lilli!
Yesterday Bea told me, "Mama let's go sit on the steps and drink our ice tea. It's so cozy." She's so joyful these days, it makes my heart quiver. These little innocent, playful sentences that tumble and roll off of her tongue all day long...how I wish I could bottle them up, record them and replay them over and over as the soundtrack to my life. Ah...but this soundtrack only adds one track after another. It's unable to repeat, so it seems.
I don't think I'm ever without a camera anymore. I usually have my real camera tucked away in my bag or basket. And if not, I've got my iPhone. This is a habit of mine that has changed over the years. Because I went through a long period where I took hardly any pictures. Nothing of the day to day and just a bit of special ocassions or trips. How different from now. But lately (particularly this season), I'm constantly quizzing myself, wondering what it is that I can find to photograph. It's become a mental exercise for sure. Keeping my eyes receptive and open - to anything - and continuously learning how to use my camera to recreate the image I see through my own lens.
I've got so much more practice to do. There's so many more ways that I'd like to improve and expand. But I'm completely fine with it. Because throughout this whole learning process, toting my camera around and matching up the viewfinder to my eye, has never felt like work to me. Taking pictures is constantly fun and joyful. And let's face it - the combination of me and a camera coupled with having an adorable kiddo in my constant presence makes for a serious habit.
I'm here to confess that my DSLR is a godsend. My second pair of eyes. Anything is possible with my little black box and the right lens. And if I had to ponder my most prized material possessions, the camera would be somewhere at the top of the list.
Today I took it with me outside thinking I probably wouldn't use it. But as I was splashing around with Bea in the pool, I kept seeing the big red sun shining down upon us with such loyalty and the gentle blondness of the peach fuzz which graces her little back and the drops of water reflecting the golden light.
And well, I was so glad that I had my camera. Bea let me snap away for about two minutes and I'm so grateful. Because at the end of the day, I simply love uploading and revisiting these little frozen moments in time.
No matter the hardships. No matter the challenges. I'm in agreement with the little one. This life is one to get cozy with.
What will she one day think of all these shutter releases aimed at the tiny moments of her childhood? I wonder.
This mama is a little sad these days. Off and on, Bea has been protesting against taking her nap. Prior to the nap, she talks about the bed and how she wants to be in bed, and that she is tired, but then once we do our nap time routine, she seems to get a second wind and doesn't let herself settle down to fall asleep.
And of course, she needs the nap.
Her afternoons are hardly functional without them.
There's the unpleasant (demanding) tone in her voice. The commands. The outburst of crying and yelling. The plain irritability of a tired, tired two year old.
A singular scenario for sure, eh? I know, I know...Please find it in your heart to humor me.
I'm trying to be cool. Now more than ever, I find myself needing to hold tight to any zen I can uncover within me. But mostly, I find myself thinking this: this is why babyhood is beautiful! Then I remember wise words someone once shared with me a few days before we brought Bea home. My sweet friend and I were giddily gathering all of the essentials I would need for Bea's arrival. Byron and I had five days to prepare ourselves to be parents - well, really, we had years, but I digress, that's another post. Lissadell and I were at our local attachment parenting baby supply store buying a Moby wrap for sweet Bea who was not yet born. And of course, the store associate was reiterating the importance of bonding and skin to skin contact with a new babe. She said something to the effect that the love and bond you develop for your child in the earliest months is the love and bond that helps you to survive the harder years (the stage we are currently in and all those future, glorious challenges to come that accompany growing up) with grace.
It's funny what we remember, huh? Sometimes I can't remember what I ate for breakfast just four hours earlier, but I can remember the details of a short and simple conversation from a stranger years ago.
And I know it's just typical. It's a phase. She'll be alright. I'll be alright. She's a good girl. But I can't help but worry and feel sad when I witness her experiment with the distasteful attitude that she's adopted of late. I miss my sweet, happy girl. More than anything, I want her to grow up to be a nice person to everyone. It's that simple. To treat others how she would want to be treated.
So - that's it, my great big ole drama for the day. In the grand scheme of things, I know it's small, but right now, at this very moment, it feels huge.
And since I'm feeling so lonesome of my sweet little one, I'll just allow myself to wallow in my funk a little bit longer by pulling these out of the archives. Aw...two years ago, nearly to the day. Her whole life ahead of her. Still perfect and nothing but sweetness.
I've had this little proverb running around in my head a lot lately. A mental practice of sorts. To get back going with all that needs to be done, and all that I want to be doing 'round this little house of ours. Right now, the list on both sides is quite long, which for me, causes brain freezes. No, compartmentalizing is not something in which I always thrive at.
But I'm going for, getting my mojo back, and putting a stop to the paralyses that procrastination can be.
But before I get started on tasks which are attached to deadlines, the college girl (at finals time) in me must clean my house from top to bottom, de-clutter, donate, update before I can plow through. Did you know that writing and photography have been added to my housekeeping category? What do you know...after all these years of documenting here and there... if too much time has past without a good writing fix or a proper upload, I feel like I've left home without my purse. Life just doesn't feel right.
So here's a little photo story of the last couple of days. Simple things done, one after the other, which help to navigate myself back to home and to all that fulfills me.
The laundry line: I've done without one for a year, relying only on one huge drying rack. The drying rack worked just fine, but oh, how fast and easy it is for me to fall right back into love with a line. Simple pleasures...simple pleasures....
Six out of eight of our hens are laying now! And just look at how beautiful their eggs are! I'm just in love with the hues! And with opening the hen house door each day to find the generous and healthy offerings from our girls. Soon I'll be giving dozens of eggs away to friends and neighbors. My mom said that that is a very old fashion thing to do - to share eggs. I have to agree and I love it.
Bea lives in an environment full of lovely, handmade, thrifted, vintage, and open ended toys. And what does she love more than anything? A bucket, dirt, and a shovel. Those dirty toes and ankles are childhood in its essence, I suppose.
Curbing my internet time, by rediscovering inspiration from some of my tried and true old favorites.
Again, so much inspiration right at my fingertips.
Chocolate anything makes my world go round.
But I'm trying to be a good girl by balancing out cupcakes with kale chips.
Hmm...kale eaten from thrifted pyrex - even better.
My poor baby Bea, who can't sit still for more than 30 seconds at a time, is feverish. Missing the pitter patter of her active little footsteps.
She perks up for some Mr. Roger's Neighborhood. He's so interesting isn't he Bea?
When the fever breaks, my little helper returns back to her joyful disposition.
Wishing you all a mindful and productive weekend, full of love and purpose.
Life around here has been pretty quiet and busy - hands busy, mind busy - but for whatever reason, I haven't had much urge to be very present on the blog. Actually, I've been trying to streamline my time on the computer, which is a constant struggle for me. Somedays, I'd like to throw the modem out of the window, you know.
There's so many ways to connect with people online. And quite frankly, I've been feeling totally overwhelmed by all of it lately. Yet being slightly introverted, I have to admit, that online communities have offered a certain allure to me. Still, lately, the virtual world, for some reason, has me heading to the privacy of my own home - offline.
Don't get me wrong, I like sharing, I like writing, I like photography, and the blog offers the perfect outlet for all three. But everything else out there - all the other types of social networking - really need to take a back seat in my world right now.
I guess lately, I've sort of been rediscovering something I knew about myself for a pretty long time. I'm very much a nose-to-the-ground sort of person. I like doing my own thing. I don't have a big social circle of friends and I like it that way. The friends I do have are very dear to me and likely always will be. What I love most is being home with my family. And of course, if I'm out and about, there's no two people that I'd rather tote along with me other than my two B's. But if they aren't inclined to join me, I'm perfectly happy exploring solo.
So what am I trying to say? I still like blogging. But I don't like networking so much. I value friendships that develop naturally because someone actually likes who I am - likes my story - and vise versa. But not solely based upon particular lifestyle choices that artificially assume compatibility. I'd like to think we are all more than cloth diapering mamas, swearing by this baby carrier or that one, whose children play with wooden toys, and eat healthy organic meals and snacks. Who we are, as people, goes deeper than that, right?
Ah...welcome to the inner frustrations of Nichole. I'm sure I'll lose my annoyance of the web soon enough. Something or someone will seduce me again so that I'm guaranteed to loose many more hours of this precious life zonking out in the virtual world. Instead of living in my real world.
We cleaned out the garage this weekend. It needed it. We've been sort of tossing stuff in there for the last couple of months. Therefore, finding anything we needed, when we needed it, was becoming daunting. We keep all of our non-essentialsl there to reduce the clutter in our small house. Oftentimes, I'll need something...like packing tape or a usb cord or something. I'll open the door to the garage, see the mountain of boxes, feel the 120 degree heat, and surrender. Instead of looking, I (we) end up buying another roll of tape or something else which we don't really need...Frustrating. We know how to be more efficient, but sometimes we fail, are in a rush, and take the easy way out.
So today we took everything out of the garage. Sorted it into piles: Goodwill, junk, keep. We brought a trunk load of books, old electronics, electronic cords, bags, etc. to donate. Threw away at least that same amount and organized the rest.
Here's what we have now. Which is what we should have.
A box each of: camping gear, Christmas decorations, baby clothes, winter jackets, winter clothes, keepsakes (old letters and souvenirs), baby things (diapers, carriers, blankets), and one more box of miscellaneous things. We also have a bucket of gardening tools, two bikes, a tool box, Byron's woodworking tools, yard tools, a lawn mower, and soap making supplies. Paired down and simplified feels really good.
I found a couple of homesteading books that I've collected through the years and brought those inside to read through again.
I also found a couple of old tapes with recordings of my grandparents. One is an interview I conducted of my grandfather when I was 14. He told of his service in WWII and D-Day. The other is an interview I did of my grandmother while I was taking a Cajun Folklore class in college. That semester, I wrote a research paper on Cajun women and their kitchen traditions. I remember Grandma talked some about her mother, growing up in the Depression, and the cooking traditions that were passed down to her. It's been years and years since I've listened to these recordings and I can't wait to hear their voices again. My grandfather passed away when I was 19 and my grandmother is unable to share her wisdom with me anymore. I miss them.
Our garage is fairly organized once again and we feel pretty good about the usefulness of the things we chose to keep. Because you know, Byron and I perpetually have one foot out the door. We restless souls must pack light.
Last week, during Bea's naps, I took to the task of making her this Oliver + S dress. It was my first time making her a piece of clothing that had this many pattern pieces. Up until now, I've been a big fan of jumpers and pinafores. Yikes, this pattern made me a bit nervous with 10 whole pieces (I later figured out that I didn't need all ten pieces). Still, I traced and cut them out just in case I decide to make one of the alternate versions of the dress later on. It was my first attempt at gathering. It wasn't quite as scary as I thought it would be. In the end, I'm sufficiently pleased with the dress. I see lots of flaws in it that I'd rather not have. I need to practice getting the yoke and the sleeves to match up nicer as well as the yoke and the main back panel. But I did it - I overcame the fear of working with a real pattern. Perfect or not, it is indeed a dress, that Bea can wear, that her mama made for her!
I think this little pattern has lots of potential. I see lots of little blouses in fun prints (layered in the cooler months) and lots and lots of little dresses of linen, corduroy, and cotton.
The two prints I used for this dress come from Joanne's as I wanted to use less expensive stuff for the first run. Besides, the chicken print is one of Bea's favorites. Anytime I have fabric scattered across the living room floor, she always gravitates towards it, drapes it around her neck, and prances around the house. Chickens, it is, for my little bird lover!
In addition to the dress making news, Bea and I received the most lovely of gifts. Yes, I'm as happy as she is! I don't usually post much about "stuff" here, especially new stuff. Although sometimes, in all my giddiness, I'll post about thrifted goodies. However, today, I just can't resist. Let me show you Bea's new play kitchen.
At the end of the school year, I borrowed The Natural Child's play kitchen for Bea to use over the summer. It's a fine wooden kitchen. We found it used on Craigslist, looking for a good home. It has served the children at The Natural Child well and we will use it again this year. Bea has spent hours playing with it both at school and at home. However, I knew that once the children returned to The Natural Child in the fall, Bea would still be left needing a play kitchen of her very own at home.
Anticipating all of this, months ago, I shopped and shopped around on the internet until I found just the kitchen I wanted Bea to have. It wasn't until last week that I finally got around to ordering it. Today we received it. And, oh my. It's some kind of lovely. Do they make them in my size? Solid hardwood. Smooth, beautiful, warm, sturdy. She spent her entire waking moments (except for the hour in which she was whisked away to the pool), playing with this kitchen. Opening, closing, putting here, putting there, taking out, and moving over. Over and over all afternoon. I think this "toy" will be played with for years, and generations to come. The set of pots come from The Juniper Tree Store. They're enamel and have a wonderful weight to them. We are so happy with them as well!
Here's (well more than) a few photos from our week in Vermont. What a serene state Vermont is. Internet and cell phone connections were spotty throughout the entire week. We saw one Wal-Mart and about two McDonald's. When there, I constantly have to remind myself that this place is home, is what is normal, to Vermonters. Dense mountains, tiny villages, miles, hills, and mountains between... Other worldly coming from central Texas and livin blocks away from I 35.
What I'll want to remember about our week:
Crowe's Bakery and Opera House - mmm...this place had the yummiest pastries, pies, and breads. All made fresh by the owner each morning. Total gem if your goal is to get a made-with-love baked goods fix.
Singleton's General Store: where you can get your SmartWools and moose sausage all under one roof!
Buttermilk Falls: In the evening, we would hike down to the stream and hold on tightly to our dare devil toddler. Nothing, I mean nothing, would make her happier than splashing and jumping in these cold, rushing waters. But really, it's a beautiful little spot to escape to and it was only minutes from our cabin.
Village libraries: Each small village takes pride in having a library for its community. The libraries are housed in old, beautiful buildings. The library in the town we stayed in use to be a Methodist church. Sunlight, streaming in through the stained glass windows lit the stacks. Proper libraries can't be beat!
Cheese: So good and so abundant.
Beer: Byron mentioned to me last night how he was missing his Long Trail brews.
Milk: when running low on milk for Bea, we made sure to stop at the very next farm on our route to get more for her (and us). We love our milk. And we loved being able to patron a farm (instead of a grocery store).
Farmer's Diner: Very pleasant surprise. After snagging a second super cheap copy of Animal, Vegetable, Miracle at a used bookstore in Maine, I fell in love with Kingsolver's memoir all over again. One night, while up late reading, I opened the book to the chapter on their summer road trip. While in Vermont, Kingsolver's family ate at a place called the Farmer's Diner. So I did a google search (I think I had to drive up into town to get a connection for my phone) to find out the location. The next day, we travelled through Middlebury and had our lunch there. It was perfection. So good. And so worth the hunt!
Beautiful drives: I can only imagine the stunning scenery that autumn offers. One day I will experience September/October in New England!
To be honest, we didn't spend as much time outdoors as we would have liked. The heat wave really put a damper on our hiking and relaxing outdoors plans. It was hotter in Vermont that week than it was in Texas. And summer in Texas is not the hiking/camping season for us!
