This mama is a little sad these days. Off and on, Bea has been protesting against taking her nap. Prior to the nap, she talks about the bed and how she wants to be in bed, and that she is tired, but then once we do our nap time routine, she seems to get a second wind and doesn't let herself settle down to fall asleep.
And of course, she needs the nap.
Her afternoons are hardly functional without them.
There's the unpleasant (demanding) tone in her voice. The commands. The outburst of crying and yelling. The plain irritability of a tired, tired two year old.
A singular scenario for sure, eh? I know, I know...Please find it in your heart to humor me.
I'm trying to be cool. Now more than ever, I find myself needing to hold tight to any zen I can uncover within me. But mostly, I find myself thinking this: this is why babyhood is beautiful! Then I remember wise words someone once shared with me a few days before we brought Bea home. My sweet friend and I were giddily gathering all of the essentials I would need for Bea's arrival. Byron and I had five days to prepare ourselves to be parents - well, really, we had years, but I digress, that's another post. Lissadell and I were at our local attachment parenting baby supply store buying a Moby wrap for sweet Bea who was not yet born. And of course, the store associate was reiterating the importance of bonding and skin to skin contact with a new babe. She said something to the effect that the love and bond you develop for your child in the earliest months is the love and bond that helps you to survive the harder years (the stage we are currently in and all those future, glorious challenges to come that accompany growing up) with grace.
It's funny what we remember, huh? Sometimes I can't remember what I ate for breakfast just four hours earlier, but I can remember the details of a short and simple conversation from a stranger years ago.
And I know it's just typical. It's a phase. She'll be alright. I'll be alright. She's a good girl. But I can't help but worry and feel sad when I witness her experiment with the distasteful attitude that she's adopted of late. I miss my sweet, happy girl. More than anything, I want her to grow up to be a nice person to everyone. It's that simple. To treat others how she would want to be treated.
So - that's it, my great big ole drama for the day. In the grand scheme of things, I know it's small, but right now, at this very moment, it feels huge.
And since I'm feeling so lonesome of my sweet little one, I'll just allow myself to wallow in my funk a little bit longer by pulling these out of the archives. Aw...two years ago, nearly to the day. Her whole life ahead of her. Still perfect and nothing but sweetness.
